287 Lytton Blvd
Toronto,On
M5N 1R7
Mr. Tom Stevens
Head of Admissions
Royal St. Georges College
120 Howland Ave
Toronto, On
M5R 3B5
Dear Mr.Stevens,
I arrived at The Sterling Hall School in grade 1 and have liked it right from that day. I love going to school especially this year because of my great teachers and the exciting new leadership roles. My favourite subject is English since I love learning words and my teacher, Mr. Coles, is great. I am the Community Service Prefect since I really enjoy helping others. We have met on December 5, 2007 and I really enjoyed it. I am well suited for this school because I do a lot of community service and I am a caring, hardworking kid.
On December 1st I attended an Out of the Cold dinner and I loved it. We had to set the table, make the dinner, serve the food and clean up. It was great to give something to people who are not as fortunate. I participated on the SHS U-14 Soccer team and it was a blast. We did very well and finished first. I am playing on the squash team this year and it's great. It's the first time I've played and I already have learned a ton.
I think I can contribute in many ways at RSGC. I could help out greatly in Community service, athletics, and academics. I think your trips are amazing. I love debating and I have heard they go to England! I would also love to go to Tuscany for a Global Outreach trip and to Japan with the band.
I think I would fit in great at RSGC because of my great qualities and since I know so many kids there. I think your school is amazing and it's my first choice.
Sincerely,
Luke Stein
2 comments:
Paragraph 1:
-it has one i
-redo first sentence
-mention your name
-try not to be too cocky
-name the school you are applying for
Paragraph 2:
-watch spelling
-try not to...i di this and it was...i did this and it was...etc cuz its kinda boring to read and it doesn't flow
-mention any clubs if you've been in any
Paragraph 3:
-add more detail...what could you do to help the comunity service, athletics etc...
-proves that you have done some research
Paragraph 4:
-try not to be to cocky
-a little brief-add more detail
-repeat some of your earlier comments and add some knew info
Extra Comments:
-say more about SHS and what you would bring to RSGC
-tell them about your duty as a prefect they will be interested
-i personally think it is a great letter and it proves that you have done some reasearch and that you are clearly interested in the school. Good Job!!
I was not being cocky jamieson everyone has told us to sell ourselves and that's what I was doing.
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